My Life as Me

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monobeartheater:

modorrelin:

there are too many vines of cishet boys in wigs making fun of girls. we need more vines making fun of cishet boys. girls wearing snapbacks and basketball shorts like ”bro hold my AXE i’m gonna draw a penis on this board” ”yeah draw a penis haha *frightened look at camera* i’m not gay tho”

someone please make that vine

(via cheetahgirl69420)

Anonymous asked: tell us your most embarrassing story

jesusinc:

jesusinc:

So a while back i was at this party and i was the first girl to arrive and there were like 20 guys already there, we were all siting around, having a beer and whatnot when the dj arrived. So all the guys went out the front of the house to help set up the dj gear and it was just me sitting there alone in the backyard for like 5 minuets. I stood up to go follow them bc i was getting really bored when i realized something, my period had gone through my white pants and stained the while chair, i was humiliated, i had no idea what to do, i could hear the guys were coming back and i had to do something quick, time was running out. So i grabbed the chair, ran like 10 meters and threw it over the fence into the neighboring yard, i quickly walked back and tied my jacket around my waist. The guys soon returned and didn’t suspect a thing, i am amazing.

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shavingryansprivates:

xxxanimeweedlord420xxx:

getmad-govegan:

being vegan is so emotionally draining like i can’t even look at someone drinking a milkshake without wanting to cry this is ridiculous if your ‘food’ makes me emotionally distressed that might be a sign that it’s not good 

get over yourself

vegetables make me cry. im 20

captainmjolnir:

People criticizing TFIOS because Gus sounds pretentious???

that was the point???

like literally at his fake funeral his best friend talks about how fucking pretentious he is and how annoying it was???

It was one of his character flaws? He was deliberately written that way?

You’re not being clever or critical by pointing it out, you are literally stating a fact about the novel that the author deliberately wrote

(Source: gameofbooze, via psychings)

judge: why did you kill that man
me: it's a metaphor
judge: oh....ok lol

kimpissible:

In english, we say “shut the fuck up” but in spanish they say “cierra la boca puta” which translates to shut your bitch mouth and i think thats beautiful

(via linedwithlace)

swlft:

if the lyrics “but now i’ll go sit on the floor wearing your clothes / all that i know is i don’t know / how to be something you miss” don’t punch you in the heart and make you feel a deep kind of sad then u are not a real person

(via ifreakinlovetaylorswift)

Cake Boss in a nutshell…

barebackbearyak:

Customer: I want a nice chocolate cake for my young son, and he likes trucks, so could you maybe do a little frosting picture of a truck on the top?

Cake Boss: SOS WHAT WES GUNNA DO IS MAKE A GIANT TRUCK ENTIRELY OUTTA RICE CRISPIES AND COVA DAT IN FONDANT AND IZ GUNNA SHOOT SPARKS AND CATCH FIYAH, POSSIBLY KILLIN YOUR SON IN DA PROCESS.

(via cheetahgirl69420)

demon-moose:

spookytox:

jacks-compass:

thecrowdedmindofjohnnydepp:

 ”no u arent doing it right let me demonstrate”

Johnny depp teaching other johnny depps so they can rule the world in his absence

The mother Depp teaches it’s Depplings how to behave in the wild. 

depplings

(Source: piratesofthecaribbean, via pizza)

ursulatheseabitchh:

acting cool but checking out the booty like

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(via onlylolgifs)

beinggigantic:

beinggigantic:

beinggigantic:

did u guys see the deer with the ribbon

image

this one did u see it

did u see this

(via hi)

cupcakesflying:

ships with height differences <333

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(via pizza)